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The Restless Filly.....An Urge To Jump!

DefinitionA restless filly is a spirited young female horse; a spirited woman with an inability to remain at rest, always looking for a new challenge.

(This is a repost from my previous blog. First published in 2018)

Did you ever ask yourself what was next, or who might be out there waiting for you while you were just getting involved in a new career or relationship?  If so, perhaps you can relate.

Over the years, I have often been referred to as a "Restless Filly", always looking for something new, different, more exciting, and happy to move from one place to another seeking that new job, project, adventure. I'm the quintessential Restless Filly!   And maybe it was because I was always looking to come home – to a place and to something centered within me.

Recognition:  As I came through the worn, wooden gates of our farm, I knew this was where I belonged.  The tranquility and natural beauty of this place has enabled me to focus the ideas that have been bouncing around in my head for years, and to move them forward. What else would we have called this staggeringly beautiful and serene place, but "Restless Filly Farm".

Anthony and Sonny hanging out at Restless Filly Lake

Some time ago, I began a coaching exercise and was asked three seemingly simple questions:

Who Am I?

What Am I Good At?

What Wants Me/Where Is My Heart Pulling Me?

If these sound easy to answer, get out a piece of paper and start writing.  OR… read about my adventure as a way to consider your own.

Although these really do appear to be short and simple, they sent me into a complete tailspin!  Who was I really??? I wear so many different hats at different times, I wasn’t sure quite how to reply, and must admit, I probably sounded a tad confused. I had never actually paused to stop and think about it. Have you? I was always just being me!

Just like you are always being YOU, right?

Luckily, I was in the presence of someone who knew exactly how to coach me into looking inwardly and discovering the real me (Thanks DJ Mitsch!)

And so, a new adventure awaited me. 

This one was a homecoming in a rare and new way.

Who Am I?

Well, I play these roles -

  • Leadership Coach

  • Senior Leader in Clinical Research

  • Wife/Mom/Step-Mom/Daughter/Sister/Ex-Wife

  • Best Friend/Friend/Colleague/Peer/"Boss"

  • Horsey Girl – I love all things equestrian and am Mom to 4 horses

  • Mentor

  • Learner/Teacher

  • Entrepreneur/Business owner

  • Story Teller

  • Small Scottish person with a strange accent, living on a 40-acre horse farm in North Carolina with my husband JB, my 18yr old son Lloyd, Bailey Dog, Bodie Dog, 3 indoor cats, 3 barn cats, 4 horses and a partridge in a pear tree! (I really do have a pear tree – still looking for the partridge)

Lloyd, Kaseen (my step-daughter), Pam and JB

True Love - Nike and Pam

What do others think I am good at?

I decided to use the information that had been gathered during three rather extensive 360 feedback reviews.

When asked which words described me, some of the responses included were:

Genuine/Collaborative/Authentic/Natural Leader/Dedicated/Approachable/Curious

Visionary/Wicked Smart/Creates Followership/Creative/High Integrity/Courageous

Unflappable/Mentor/Empathic/Hardworking/Compassionate/Strategic/Generous/ Kindness/Highly Respected/Motivating/Empowering/Supportive/Humility

Whilst I was humbled and disagree with some, especially around many of these noticed characteristics that I appear to display, I wore them for a while. A picture started forming in my head of the real me – my essence. During one of the 360 feedback sessions, people were asked what they would like to learn from me, and I was rather surprised by the many responses and decided to see them in third person, as if I were looking at this person named Pam for the first time. 

Some of those observations included:

She knows when to pull, push or stand next to you. How did she learn that?

She is my role model. When things look too big, she can break them down with you and encourage you to accomplish great things…. Things you don’t think you can do.

She is even keeled. Was that learned or is that true nature for her?

She will sometimes say, “I might fail, but I am going to try this.” I want to learn how to do that, how to adopt that perspective.

How does she care for every detail in the needs of those around her?

Patience – she demonstrates incredible patience – how does she do that?

How did she even the playing field and manage the politics?

Ways to motivate staff. She has that one hands down.

She puts her heart on the table, “we are going to talk about some hard stuff here,” and yet she leaves you creating and empowered.

She has amazing character. Skills can be taught….. this is not something that can be taught, but an intangible – make that tangible. Write about it.

Now, the feedback wasn’t all pretty……...there were some great, constructive criticisms that I’m continuing to work on, and will be happy to share with you in another post, but this is an introduction to something that invites us to become a witness in our own lives - to see what makes us truly unique.  

Picasso The Painted Pony greets everyone at Restless Filly Lodge

What Wants Me? Where is my Heart Pulling Me?

When asked these questions, I turned my focus inwards, and began noticing and actually listening to the thoughts that were bouncing around in my head. Tuning out the buzz of everyday work and asking myself, what wants me – where is my heart pulling me?…..

The answer was crystal clear. 

To create a place both virtually and physically, where people can gather, learn, connect, network and find some calm in our busy lives - Restless Filly Farm and the Saorsa Blog will be those places.

Here, I plan to share my own experiences from both my career and life – the good, the bad and the downright ugly, in hopes that I find fellow adventurers along the way.   I have learned some great lessons from situations and experiences in my life that may be helpful, or inspire you, or relate in ways that will be healing or helpful.  That is my hope.

I’ve also been extremely blessed to have so many bright, intelligent, diverse, creative, passionate, awesome people in my life, from both my professional and social worlds, many of whom have skills and knowledge to share.

In coming months and years, Restless Filly Farm will be the home, and I plan to be the host, for workshops, retreats and events for those who are seekers and travelers – always asking, “what’s next?”.

“Life’s A Journey Not A Destination” as sung so eloquently by Steven Tyler. Please join me on this blog negotiating our best and most fulfilling career and life paths, on this incredible journey we call Life.

I believe in promises, and am sharing this photo from Scotland, the beautiful country I came from, though I am now most at home in North Carolina

Please comment here, and let me know what you think, and how you can relate.  We are  so important to each other’s success.  Second, please share my blog with others who may have similar experiences, ideas worth reading and writing about, or are seeking inspiration.  I will be happy to respond to all comments. Thank you for tuning in and allowing this invitation.  I cannot wait to see what the Universe has in store for us.

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