What a Difference A Year Makes... Farewell 2019 – Hello and a warm Welcome to 2020!

So this time last year, I was a senior director and leader within clinical research, spending way too much time being stressed out. I had just thrown a huge Christmas party at our farm with lots of friends and colleagues, spent way too much money on Christmas presents, food, drink and stuff I really didn’t need (didn't we all :o). I had rushed around like a crazy woman for the month of December, so busy, so stressed, I didn’t even take time out to enjoy what a wonderful Holiday time it was. I was much more preoccupied being sick to my stomach, at the thought of returning to the chaos that had become my work environment, my beloved leadership position no longer what it used to be, but a shell of a job holding no happy future for me, the passion for my role gone…a passion that had no intention of returning.

Too many things have happened in this past year to write in one blog – I think this would have to be more like a book (which yes, I think I may just publish :o) This year I learned so much more about myself, discovered my true passions in life….some very familiar and others new and exciting. I learned to move on from past regrets that haunted me, and to truly trust myself and my instincts.

2019 was a year full of some pretty raw emotions – feelings of overwhelming sadness and betrayal, anger, frustration, resentment and pain, but more importantly it held some of the most wonderful discoveries about myself and what, and who were important in my life. This past year has made me stronger, happier and healthier (in both mind and body), it opened my eyes to new and awesome approaches to dealing with stress, frustration and unhappiness….and I’m super excited about my life in 2020!

My only regret is that when I’m sad and hurting as much as I was at certain points last year, I have a tendency to shut down and close out those closest to me, and for that, I truly apologize. It’s a coping mechanism I’ve used for many years, and one that I intend never to use again. So for those that hung in there with me – Thank You...I love you with all my heart!

This Christmas was exceptionally calm and low key, spending time with family at our farm – my husband JB, my stepdaughter and her boyfriend who flew in from LA and Denver, and my eighteen-year-old son and his girlfriend. Our Christmas morning started early with a 5am pick up at the airport, whilst I cooked up a breakfast of Scottish sausages and bacon rolls, before walking the dogs and letting the horses out to play in the pasture. After eating breakfast, it was out to the fire-pit to drink huge mugs of hot coffee and chat, taking in our beautiful and tranquil surroundings, whilst toasting our booted feet at the fire (Uggs are just the best and a staple of my wardrobe :o).

Although I spent less $$ this year, I was able to spend some time cooking and baking in advance of Christmas Day (yes I can bake and cook, which may come as a surprise to some of you :o), some old Scottish favorites like my Grandma’s incredible shortbread (which tastes absolutely nothing like the traditional store bought shortbread!) fruit cake, and for those with an incredibly sweet tooth, there was one of my all-time childhood faves – Scottish Tablet. An exceptionally sugary sweet, buttery candy that tastes like no other candy and I absolutely love! I also took more time than usual choosing gifts and wrapping them. Although we didn’t spend as much money as in prior years, it took us all afternoon to open our Christmas presents, with each one of us taking it in turn to open one gift at a time. It was so much fun just watching each other receive their gifts (I do realize that this doesn’t work for kids, who want to rip off all wrapping paper, scream in joy, then move onto the next gift….I remember those days)

After a traditional Scottish Christmas meal of turkey, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts/bacon and the addition of one of our Southern faves - green bean casserole :o), we all took our drinks back out to the fire-pit, which was now glowing in the dark. It was a magical sight with the hammock trees having tiny lights wound around their trunks and branches, and the dancing flames warming the chilly night air – even our dogs, Bailey and Bodie stretched out on their outdoor beds around the fire-pit, listening to us laugh, reminisce and talk about our plans and dreams for 2020.

So, what does 2020 hold???

Adventure, Excitement, Fun, Family, Friends, New Friends and Colleagues, Long walks with Bailey and Bodie, Feeling completely free when galloping my horses, Reading, Writing :o), Listening to music, Growing my leadership and life coaching business (if you're interested in my coaching packages, please let me know, I'd love to discuss with you. You don't have to reside in the US, Coaching via web-video/phone can be extremely effective and opens up the world to us all), Being thankful for the beautiful world in which I live and the exceptional people I know that inhabit it…….Hopes, Dreams and much Happiness, all of which are possible when I choose to make them happen! Which I fully intend to do!!!

So, what does 2020 hold for You??? Drop me a note, let me know…

Wishing you every success, happiness and exciting possibilities/adventures for the New Year!

Thanks again to all those who continue to read my blogs, you are awesome…..and I am so truly grateful that you take the time to not only read my blog, but also message and email me – I'm looking forward to 2020....a year of new adventures and many more blogs :o)

Hugs

Pam